I"m leaving for Botswana in the morning - it never ceases to amaze me that I can start the day in one place and wake up on the other side of the world. It reminds me how small our world really is.

The first time I wrote this email I made out a whole list of things that I would like for you to pray for me about, safe travel, good teachers, a heart open to God's will...but I think that if there is just one thing that I could ask you to pray for, one thing I want more than anything in the next five weeks it is this: Just to love people well in Christ's name. Please pray this on my behalf.

Also, for those who want to read more about what happened at Harvester's REaching the Nations in the past couple weeks I have attatched their newsletter below if you just scroll down. Please continue to keep them in your prayers as well.

Timshel,
Jenny


**********HRTN NEWSLETTER UPDATE EXCERPT******************
This has been a month of dependence on God for help. We praise Him for His goodness and give thanks for His Word and His Blessings!
We recently received an e-mail from Samaritan's Purse Operation Christmas Child (OCC). For those of you who don't know, OCC is a program that brings joy and hope to children in desperate situations around the world. Through gift-filled shoe boxes and the Good News of God's love, OCC focuses on the true meaning of Christmas ~ Jesus Christ. OCC informed us that we had been chosen as recipients of this incredible gift and that we were to have a special distribution ~ with special guests that would be coming to hand out the gifts.
To our surprise, there were more than twenty guests that arrived at our compound ~ and one of them was Franklin Graham! Harvesters' children had been practicing songs and memory bible verses for this event for two weeks with Pastor Pooshani.
Each of our children received a Christmas box filled with special items that was packed and prayed over and sent to our orphans. Franklin and the VIP crew interacted with the children as the film crew recorded all of this.
After many pictures where taken and the program was over, we got to visit with Franklin. He is a very humble man. I appreciate his family so much, especially his father, Billy Graham, for all of the years of sacrifices he has made to be obedient to answer the call on his life of preaching the gospel. Even when times were hard and may not have been pleasant, he has been faithful to God, and God has honored and blessed his ministry and family for that. That is why the Grahams are one of my Christian Heroes.
When they where leaving they told us that Samaritan's Purse was going to bless us with two new trucks we have been needing and praying for. They are also going to try and bring awareness for Harvesters in the public eye!
It wasn't long after this blessing that we were once again reminded of the daily challenges of living in this war torn land as we received terrible news at our compound. One of our employees, Itiya, who just recovered from cerebral malaria, received word that five of her family members where beaten to death by the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), just five miles from our compound. She was told that the LRA came to the family's tukul and ordered them to get on the ground face down. Itiya's aunt, three children and grandmother were beaten, hit with an axe and killed. Itiya is devastated and our children have been frightened and did not sleep well that night.
Many times we don't understand why things happen the way they do, but we cannot loose hope in Christ. We are comforted by the words of Psalm 121: 1-8. We know that as we travel the road He has laid out for us that we are protected, not by anything created here on earth, but by the Creator of everything. We praise Him for His goodness, we recount the blessings of living by His Word and we are reminded that the best we can offer Him is a faithful and obedient life. That is why we are here ~ to serve as an example to our children and to give them that hope of eternal life. We never know what day we may be called to leave this earthly life and we must be ready.
Please continue to pray that God will heal these scars on so many Sudanese hearts from so much tragedy. We love each and every one of you.
From our hearts, Mama Lilly and Pastor Dennis

Tuesday 3/10 I have coffee with Diane Black (founder of Harvesters Reaching The Nations (HRTN) where I’m supposed to work in the Sudan). She tells me that earlier in the week the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) came all the way down into the village where HRTN works and killed five of the family members of a native African who works for them there. The LRA has never been this close to the village in the past. The people are scared and either leaving the village at night to go sleep in the main town or have completely moved out of their homes and into the main town. HRTN is shutting down their generators early every night so as to draw less attention to themselves and the 150 children who reside there. She tells me that so far they have been safe; and, although it is still my choice, the HRTN board would strongly recommend against me coming to Sudan in March…I’m crushed and disappointed. I’m confused why the Lord would call me to this place I originally didn’t even want to go to, and then ask me not to go at the last moment? I’m worried for the children in the orphanage; will they be taken to become child soldiers? Or killed?

I come home to CNN to find that Northern Sudan has given orders that all 12 major aid agencies residing in the Sudan must leave. Some workers will stay and be kidnapped the following day. The workers of the aid agencies drawn faces appear on my TV, they want to know how these people will get the water and the resources they need to survive…there is no answer to their question. Only a standing order to evacuate.

I pray: Lord, please make Your will clear to me. I fear that perhaps I manufacture Your voice in my life. Did I hear you wrong? Did you never mean for me to go to the Sudan? Do I dream up schemes and Your voice and call them Your will? Am I an idiot for believing all of this? Because I feel like one and I’m not sure what You’re doing. I feel like I’ve wasted all this time and energy planning a trip that three months ago I was afraid to take – so You cast out my fear and worked out all the details…for what? To stop the whole thing just as I’m about to leave? Somehow, please show me, your doubting child, very clearly if you want me in the Sudan or You want me to let it go. My only hope is in You.

The last words I feel the Lord speak to my heart as I fall asleep are these: Do you feel like what I asked of Abraham was a waste of time simply because Isaac was never sacrificed on the altar? I asked Abraham to put Me above all, even his most beloved son, and he did. I asked you to put Me above all else – the pain you may cause your family and those you love, your logic, your need to control and understand everything, your need to have a reason and a goal in the all the things you do. I asked you to go simply because I said go and you were willing. I do not waste time.

Diane Black emailed me later in the week essentially stating that the situation was worsening such that it was no longer my choice whether or not I would come to serve with them in Sudan. So I will not be visiting the Sudan this year after all.

I am slowly learning to be at peace and accept the Lord’s plan over my own. It is a daily task – one I often think I am accomplishing until I realize I’m not accomplishing it at all. I believe that the Lord God, Jesus Christ is sovereign over all – that He knew everyday of my life (including this one) when I was knit together in my mother’s womb, that His love for me is perfect and can therefore drive out all my fear of failure, wasted time and everything else that lies ahead.

I will still be traveling to Botswana to serve with BIPAI for five weeks on March 29. Please pray for me that I have eyes that see and ears that hear so that I may join the Lord where He is already at work and hear His will for me. Please pray for HRTN and the people of Sudan.

Timshel,
Jenny